Do Texans Know How to Read?

Adolfo and I watched signs anxiously as we entered the Bay Area. We wanted to be sure that we bypassed San Francisco. It's not that we don't want to see the city, but towing a 30-foot trailer through such a congested city sounded like a nightmare. So, Adolfo followed his GPS and I followed our map book as we wound our way around the East Bay. We planned to take 580 to 880 and finally to meet up with 101 in San Jose.

Just as we approached 880, road signs became very confusing because a spaghetti of freeways all met up at the same place with green signs suggesting every possible exit. Adolfo headed for 880, but at the last moment, he got confused and took the ramp to 80. When we looked at where we were headed, we both gasped. We were headed for the Oakland Bridge that leads straight into the heart of San Francisco. I reached for my purse because the bridge requires a $8.25 toll for the truck and trailer combo. The GPS started beeping and rerouting. It showed a possible turn around if we got into the far right lane. So, we headed for the far right. There we noticed that there was no toll booth or traffic. Instead, a police officer stood hunched over the passenger window of a BMW. We realized something was wrong and decided to pull up behind them to ask for directions or forgiveness-- whichever was needed.

After waiting some time, the motorist in front was excused and the officer made his way to our truck.

"We made a mistake," I explained. "We were trying to get on 880."

"You made TWO mistakes," the officer said in a very stern voice. "You missed your exit AND you got into the Buses Only lane," he continued.

For the next ten minutes the officer lectured us on what we'd done wrong:

"I'm sure you are from California and went to school here. In California we speak English. That sign clearly reads 'Buses Only' in English. You know how to read English, don't you?"

"Yes, officer," we responded in what we hoped would be an adequately remorseful tone. To provide an explanation, Adolfo motioned toward his GPS.

"I don't want to hear anything about your GPS! There is no excuse for taking this lane. You need to use your own eyes to read the signs. They are in simple English."

"We're sorry, Sir," Adolfo said, deciding not to mention the GPS again.

"There is no way to turn around and go back. You are going into San Francisco without paying the toll. And I see you don't have a FasTrak pass. You will be receiving a $30.00 ticket in the mail." The officer explained. Then he dramatically continued, "But you have a bigger problem. It is a $400.00 fine for using the Buses Only lane."

Adolfo and I choked on that a minute while the police officer continued his rant about knowing English and how to read. Then, for some reason he asked. "Where are you from?"

When we answered that we are from Texas, the officer was caught slightly off guard. "Really?" he questioned as if thinking that being from Texas just might be a viable excuse for not knowing how to read. Then he remembered his rant and continued, "Well, people speak English in Texas, too. Have you been in this area before?"

"No, Sir." Luckily Adolfo answered because I didn't want to have to admit that I went to grad school here twenty years ago.

With Adolfo's answer, the officer took some pity on us and explained how to turn around on Treasure Island rather than going into the city. He continued with the stern voice, but didn't give us the $400.00 ticket. We were glad that the police officer was willing to take our situation into consideration and to give us directions so we wouldn't have to weave through San Francisco. Still, we hope we won't have reason to meet up with that officer again. We certainly won't be taking the Buses Only lane again--in any city.